RULES.

hey there! i’m zanza, i’m 30 years old, autistic + otherwise disabled. during fall and spring i’m a full time college student, but during the summer and slower periods with school i’ll be more active.the most important rule is that I’m here for myself. i come first. we're here for fun!

this blog is 18+ only for my own comfort, i would prefer not to be following minors or have minors following me. it’s an absolute no go if you don’t have your age listed clearly somewhere on your blog.godmodding, transphobia, disability erasure, erasure of sexuality, etc. will be NOT tolerated on this blog.i promise i'm really far more relaxed than these rules make me seem, i've just been here a really long time and have a low tolerance for bullshit.

this blog is incredibly selective and private, meaning i will only interact with mutuals, and i’ll be very picky about who i follow. don’t take it personally if i don’t follow you, i just need to keep things fairly chill, and i only follow those i see myself writing with. i also won’t follow if you don’t cut your posts, consistently post things that are completely irrelevant to your blog, don’t have a rules page, and/or don’t tag your posts!i write in third-person, present tense. i typically don’t give a shit what formatting you use, i tend to just stick to what i do — but the only thing i can’t handle no matter what is text that’s heavy on ‘fancy fonts’, it’s too difficult for me to read and comprehend at the same time and is far too difficult to translate / format into something that’s easier for me to read.i unapologetically latch onto threads, memes, and plots with people who actively talk to me and who i’m closer with and generally know for a fact that i’m not annoying --- if this is something you’re gonna be annoyed by in any form, you’re probably better off not following. i try to be friends with as many people as possible, and i’m easy to talk to, but mutual excitement over things is one of the keys to helping me write and i’m here to have fun anyway so i’m not gonna be sorry for doing what’s fun and makes me happy!!

i have autistm, adhd, i'm disabled, and a full-time college student. i also run multiple blogs. activity can be slow, and i do tend to hyperfocus on threads and plots so some people may get priority with responses depending on how close we are and how invested i am in the dynamics being explored. below are a list of rules that i’d really appreciate if you’d follow! i can tell when they’re not being read and it tends to be a real problem.i get overwhelmed super easily, and when i get overwhelmed, i tend to block out the things that i’m doing. because of this i’ll often forget that i’m IMing people i don’t talk to often, be it for plotting or anything else. please don’t take it personally, it’s never anything to do with you. feel free to send me gentle reminders!! (also note that i tend to get anxious when i haven’t talked to a person much, and might just stop talking due to this. it isn’t personal, i just feel like there are expectations for me to respond to messages a certain way sometimes, and this stresses me out).

zanza ..| ..30 ..| ..mountain

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( ...she.. ./. ..they... )

if you’re someone who finds pleasure in finding things problematic / can’t enjoy anything without dissecting it to find problems / bashes people for enjoying the things you find problematic, or for watching shows that you don’t watch ( or have stopped watching ), or are generally negative in any other way, please don’t follow me. i can’t deal with that sort of thing, and i’ve reached a point in my life where i can’t be bothered to try. please tag your hate, if you insist on posting it. venting? i understand! frustration? get that too!! but general unbridled hate on a regular basis is hard for me to deal with.

NOTE: this does not apply to things that are genuinely problematic.

inbox is for memes / writing related things (you can share lil compliments, just not random attempts to start a conversation).if you want to plot or chat or whatever else you might wanna talk to me about? please use IMs or discord!this blog is typically PLOTTING AND DYNAMIC BASED. keep in mind, though, that i do expect plotting to be a cooperative effort, i’m not gonna do all the work.

lauren is BISEXUAL and i love ships, so hmu, but know that lauren's not the easiest person in the world to get along withi am, however, firmly a believer that leyla is an incredibly damaging and toxic character when it comes to how she's treated lauren — any shipping i choose to do with anyone who might write her will need serious discussion and plotting beforehand to make sure we're on the same pagei will really really selectively writing smut, if you’re someone i’m comfortable with i’m open to discussing related headcanons and actually writing things (though the actual writing has a 99% chance of being written over discord)!

other nsfw themes may be present on this blog, there will be, at times, triggering content on this blog. a lot of the fandoms i’m part of have some very dark aspects, and while there are some things i won’t go near (openly and explicitly written abuse, rape, pedophilia, incest, to name a few), i’m not against the idea of writing with ‘villain’ characters. if the fact that i’m gonna associate with people who write darker characters who might do awful things isn’t your thing? that’s okay! no need to follow! if you still do want to follow, i’ll be implementing a tag for all threads that i feel may contain less common or general triggers which will be the ‘POTENTIAL TRIGGER //’ tag, and it’s just gonna show up on top of anything i already know i need to tag, just to keep people as comfortable as possible!triggers may be present on this blog, and i’m be more than happy to tag anything i’m asked to! ( triggers will be tagged ‘trigger //’ or 'content cw' )

please tag SPIDERS, CLOWNS, AND EXCESSIVE GORE, thank you!!please tag all flashing gifs as i’m incredibly photosensitive when it comes to flashing lights (even something like lightning) and migraines are no fun. i track ‘zanza don’t look //’ and ‘flashing gif //’

unless stated otherwise, all edits, icons, and graphics used on this blog belong to me, please do not use them without my permission.

banned fcs: ...amber heard. ..dove cameron...scarjo. ..stephen amell. ..holland roden. ..colton haynes. ..chris pratt. ..henry cavill. ..lea michele. ..elizabeth olsen. ..rdj (except very selectively as tony stark). ..anyone who’s deceased. ..anyone who’s asked to not be used as a fc...any other problematic people not listed here.

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muses i won't write with: ....billy hargrove (stranger things). ....negan (the walking dead). ......the governor (the walking dead). ......kilgrave (marvel). ......muses who are rapists / pedophiles. ......any character from 13rw. any nazi / hydra based muse. ......transphobic / rule!63 muses. .....actual people, whether historical or not.

• blog
• basics
• bio + verses

STAFF FILE.

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information.

NAME. ..lauren ophelia bloom.
BIRTHDATE. ..february 17th, 1987, 3:18 AM.
AGE... 35 / verse dependent.
PLACE OF BIRTH... upper east side, manhattan, new york city, new york.
CURRENT LOCATION... brooklyn, new york. / verse dependent.
PRONOUNS... she/they.
SEXUAL ORIENTATION. ..bisexual / biromantic.

FACECLAIM. ..janet montgomery, adult. ..zoey deutch, young.
RACE / ETHNICITY... caucasian / jewish.
HEIGHT. ..5’6, pre-leg reconstruction. a little under 5’5, post leg-reconstruction.
HAIR COLOR. ..brunette.
EYE COLOR. ..brown.
SKIN COLOR. ..pale.
DOMINANT HAND. ..right.
TATTOOS. ..a star on her right hand, near her thumb. a black rectangle below her left elbow, the solar system stretching across the width of her shoulders.
PIERCINGS. ..ears, cartilage.

education & occupation.

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HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION. ..
tbd.
COLLEGE EDUCATION. ..
whitman college; walla walla, washington / bachelor of science, biology - pre-med.
POST GRAD. ..
new amsterdam medical college / m.d.
RESIDENCY. ..
new amsterdam medical center.
OCCUPATION. ..
emergency department chair, .new amsterdam medical center.

family.

FATHER. .. elijah bloom. ....fc: bradley whitford.
OCCUPATION.....dermatologist.
STATUS. ....deceased, 2004.MOTHER. ....jeanie bloom. ....fc: gina gershon.
OCCUPATION.....socialite.
STATUS. ....burning in hell hallelujah.SISTER. ....vanessa bloom. ..fc: billie lourd if you're gany, kathryn prescott for canon.
BORN. ....1996.
STATUS..... living.

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who says you can't run an ed and be nice to people?

• blog
• rules
• bio + verses

BIO / VERSE DIRECTORY.

verse applicable trigger warnings present at the top of each page.

• pre-canon
• season one
• season two
• season three
• season four

• main verse
• grey's
• marvel
• 9-1-1
• star trek

• blog
• rules
• basics

pre-canon

applicable triggers: ..parental death, addiction (family member), parental neglect, parental abuse.

lauren bloom was born into a wealthy upper-class family in new york city. things were okay for a while, mostly because she was too young to know otherwise. at six years old, her sister, vanessa, was born. lauren was truly elated to have a sister, and spent a decent amount of her free time caring for her — whether it was reading to her, holding her, or simply keeping her company. that was the last truly good year of her childhood.when she was seven years old, lauren overheard one of her father's friends call her mother an alcoholic, which her father denied. she knew well enough that her father's denial was wrong, and decided to take it upon herself to do everything in her power to slow her mom down. that same year, lauren got drunk for the first time after chugging her mom's martini in the hopes it would slow her down. it didn't. that didn't stop lauren from trying, though typically she was left to take care of both her mother and her baby sister while her dad was at work. he was always at work.this pattern continued for years. it was easier after she turned 12 and was finally diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed adderall to help her function better. lauren took care of everything at home, though her dad was great when he was actually present... not that he was all that often. still, he and lauren were close and he always offered assistance when she asked and spent plenty of time with her on the days where her mom was at her worst, taking her to restaurants, and plays, and simply being her friend. when she was 15, the worst possible thing happened and her dad died, four days after her birthday from encephalitis. lauren found him, and was distraught to lose the only parent who actually cared — though the loss strengthened her resolve to make sure vanessa was taken care of to the very best of her ability.but there's only so much one person can take, and lauren's aspiration to become a doctor like her dad wasn't likely to become reality if she was stuck doing absolutely everything for both her mom and sister. it was a difficult choice as she was accepted to a handful of ivy league schools and nyu — as well as whitman college in washington state. her mom had no clue she'd applied to whitman, which was by design — lauren didn't want anyone to know. it took weeks of consideration and an internal war constantly raging before she finally managed to come to a decision. she elected to go to whitman, eager for the distance from the life that had stifled her so much. one night, lauren made sure her mom was asleep, tucked vanessa into bed, and she left. not a word. not a note. just a clean break, difficult and painful as it was.lauren successfully made it through college, then med school, and finally her residency. when it was all completed, lauren was hired on as an emergency physician at new amsterdam medical center in new york. it made sense, seeing as her entire childhood was made up of her dealing with crisis after crisis. eventually, she was made department chair — and she thrived. a natural leader, she took no shit and made sure things ran as smoothly as possible. this was difficult for quite a while as the hospital struggled to keep a medical director on staff... but in 2018, that finally changed for the better. it was about damn time.

• next (season one)

season one

applicable triggers: ..general medical related, addiction, rehab, ambulance crash.

as max goodwin was hired and suddenly she actually wanted to stick around instead of looking for a job at a private hospital. he listened, he took care of problems, and he took care of people, both patients and staff alike.unfortunately, lauren was struggling immensely with loneliness. she couldn't quite form bonds with people — more out of self defense than anything else — and couldn't stand slowing down. she began taking shifts in EDs at other hospitals, often pulling multiple consecutive double shifts. to combat the building exhaustion, lauren began taking more adderall than prescribed. this led to issues with focus, and difficulty keeping track of what she was doing at work. a patient almost died due to her ordering a medication he was deathly allergic to. luckily, the head ED nurse was the one administering the medication and caught the error, fixing it as he knew what lauren meant. haunted by this nearly fatal mistake, she revealed the fact that she was taking more adderall than prescribed and genuinely struggling to helen sharpe (the closest thing she had to a friend).it was nice to have someone in the know, and it helped lauren to feel more accountable and slow down. and she did, she did fairly well, and was proud of herself because damn it was difficult. things came to a head when she caught helen snooping through her bag, something that made lauren angry and led her to refuse to consider helen her friend any longer. the two butted heads regularly after that, and it wasn't long before helen reported lauren to max, informing him that she an impaired physician. lauren was required to meet with iggy frome, the chair of the behavioral health department, where she begrudgingly told him her family history and attempted to defend herself. in the end, it came down to a single option: if she wanted to keep her job, lauren had to go to rehab. it was upsetting, but she did.rehab wasn't a great experience in the beginning. lauren was closed off, and refused to participate in the healing process. eventually, she received a visit from a friend from work, floyd reynolds, and the proof that someone cared was enough to prompt lauren to actually allow herself to feel something. unfortunately, none of it was good. she felt she was unfit to be a doctor, and revealed that she didn't see much point to anything if she was unable to do the job she'd loved so much. this was put to the test when she was asked to assist with another patient who'd overdosed, with the facility's medical provider stuck due to a snowstorm. initally, lauren refused, but finally decided she ought to help. she managed to aid the staff in saving the girl, but she snatched the last of the pills while everyone was occupied. she didn't take them, taking them to the head of the facility and emotionally revealing that she wanted to try.by the time she was released, lauren had decided she wanted to resign from her job. frankly, she was terrified that she couldn't handle it without medication for her ADHD, though she didn't tell anyone that. she didn't offer much explanation at all to any friends she encountered at the hospital while looking for max before it was revealed he was at home. lauren went to find him there, but when he opened the door he was covered in blood. his wife, georgia's, placenta had ruptured, and lauren jumped into action, offering instructions to max while she frantically prepared kitchen implements so she could perform any procedures that were necessary. lauren managed to deliver the baby and keep his georgia alive until the ambulance arrived. while they were loaded into the ambulance, lauren had a conversation with helen where the other woman attempted to apologize but lauren interjected, insisting that her friend had saved her life.the group all rode back to the hospital in the ambulance, but were struck en route by another ambulance - a stolen one.

• next (season two)

season two

applicable triggers: ..ambulance crash, injury, surgery, mentions of addiction, gaslighting, abuse, parental neglect.

lauren was thrown through the windshield and sustained life threatening injuries including a severe break of her left leg and cardiac tamponade. back at new amsterdam, she was treated by floyd who managed to save her despite the fact that she went into cardiac arrest and required an emergency thoracotomy and pericardiocentesis in order to get her heart started again.after a fairly long recovery, lauren returned to work, requiring a cane and boot to walk. she begrudgingly went to physical therapy where the fact that she refused so much as tylenol or ibuprofen for pain made things incredibly difficult. this wasn't aided by the fact that her physical therapist, zach ligon, mocked her limp and regularly insulted her lack of progress. eventually, lauren snapped at him, suggesting he should do something to actually help instead of simply insulting her — this led to lauren kissing him in the hopes it would succeed in distracting her from the pain. the two proceeded to sleep together regularly, though it was only at the hospital.before long it came time for lauren to have a second surgery on her leg in order to assure she could walk without the boot and cane. she was informed that she couldn't make it through this operation without pain medication, which upset her greatly. first, she went to helen to get her opinion — helen suggested she be the one to help lauren manage her medication and to monitor usage. lauren turned her down, insisting she didn't want to threaten their friendship again. instead, she went to ligon, who was also an addict, assuming that he'd understand the struggle and give her appropriate amounts of grief should she begin to struggle. on the day of her surgery, floyd insisted on walking her there so she wouldn't be alone, and lauren informed him that her mother was supposedly going to be there. she wasn't. surgery went well, though when it came time for ligon to distribute her medication she was asked to wait an hour for the best effect. when the time came, lauren couldn't find the pill and thought she was losing her mind. eventually, she figured out that ligon had taken it, and she told him that when he got out of rehab she never wanted to hear from or see him again.for a while, things were fairly uneventful. then her mother showed up at the hospital. lauren avoided and ignored her for the duration of her shift, finally confronting her when she was finished and eventually agreeing to get dinner. at the dinner, she unloaded the worst of her pain on jeanie. things were made worse when her mother insisted that she didn't remember any of the things lauren had referred to happening. at this point, lauren knew she couldn't have a relationship with her, and left.

• next (season three)

season three

applicable triggers: ..general medical related, homophobia, injury, near death experience.

[insert covid free s3 storyline]a rideshare driver brought in a patient, listing off symptoms and a suggestion of a diagnosis. lauren was hostile, suggesting the woman leave it to the doctors. it was later revealed that the woman, leyla, was a doctor in pakistan and was unable to practice in the united states — though it upset lauren, leyla made a suggestion on how to save the patient and attempted to do so. this prompted lauren to threaten to have her arrested for assault if she didn't leave. when the patient continued to decline, lauren decided to see if leyla's suggested solution was correct and it was. the patient lived, and lauren sought out leyla to apologize. when she realized the other woman was living in her car, lauren allowed her to use the showers in the hospital and shared her 'secret spot' (a closet with a bed) so leyla could sleep somewhere safe. eventually, they were caught, and miraculously neither got in trouble though leyla wasn't allowed to stay in the closet any longer.lauren's solution was to invite leyla to live with her, revealing that she had extra space and was rarely home. leyla agreed, and in having a safe and stable place to stay, managed to pass the boards which allowed her to train in the united states. in her excitement, she kissed lauren who panicked and ran, though when she came home to leyla insisting she'd move out, lauren revealed that she was surprised at how normal the kiss felt and kissed leyla. she proceeded to take a week off work to spend with the other woman, with her last day off having been 12 years prior. when she went back to work, lauren was in an incredible mood, which led to plenty of confusion from her colleagues and friends — the change from her usual hardass self was unusual, especially considering no one knew about leyla. by the end of the day, lauren realized that being so soft impacted her work and made her less effective. she attempted to break up with leyla when she got home, though leyla wouldn't let her, insisting that lauren could be hard at work and soft when the two of them were together.when a pipe burst in the ED proved to be toxic pesticide rather than the dirty water that was initially expected, detox showers were set up and incoming patients were diverted — the new amsterdam emergency department was closed. lauren got the brunt of the spill, as she was attempting to shield a patient and standing right below the break, but she refused to go through detox until every patient and her whole staff had been through. unfortunately, before she could, she'd developed a rash (which she managed to hide) and almost completely lost her vision. after casey informed her that the last patient was about to go through, lauren found a patient with a burst blood vessel in his throat and making it impossible to breathe. she managed to drain the blood before losing consciousness. after casey found her and carried her to safety, it was revealed that acute exposure was fatal with no treatment, but floyd had stumbled across a solution by chance and lauren made a full recovery.[3x13 & 3x14 info incoming]

next (season four) .... [coming soon]